Marriage Mediation: Making Your Marriage Happier and Healthier
Making Your Marriage Happier and Healthier
Many couples live with enduring patterns of behavior that make one or both partners unhappy. As explained in Crucial Conversations, when you have a problem like that, you have three choices:
- Avoid discussing the issue,
- Face the issue and handle the conversation poorly, or
- Face the issue and handle the conversation well.
The first two options lead to ongoing frustration and dissatisfaction in the relationship. Often the negative feelings that you are trying to suppress sneak out in ugly, destructive ways. Or you keep them bottled up until one day they explode.
Clearly, the third option is preferable. Happily, facing issues and having constructive, problem-solving conversations about them is something that most couples can learn to do. A mediator can help you have conversations that will improve or even save your marriage.
Most people can learn to handle crucial conversations constructively. This is not about digging into your childhood to explore why you feel the way you do. It is not psychotherapy. It is looking at what matters to each of you and why and figuring out how you might each change your behavior so that both of you will have a happier, healthier relationship.
The author, Virginia Colin, is a Professional Family Mediator certified by the Virginia Supreme Court. She is not an attorney or a therapist. For a free consultation about whether family mediation would be helpful for you, contact her at mediatorQ@gmail.com or 703 864 2101.