Books for Adults:
Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. The book provides clear, practical steps you can take so that you will be ready to handle the moment well when it is suddenly time to discuss something that matters a lot with someone whose view differs from yours when one or both of you have strong emotions about the issue.
The Truth About Children and Divorce by Robert Emery. This book can give you and your spouse or your ex some very helpful tools and skills and insights. You can make life easier and happier for your kids and yourself even if you and your ex remain very angry at each other. Available in libraries and online.
Breaking Apart by Wendy Swallow. A memoir of marriage and divorce. The first half is about how good people sometimes enter and stay a long time in unhappy marriages. The second part is about the largely un-anticipated emotional and legal complexities of getting separated, getting divorced, learning to co-operate with your ex for the benefit of your children, and gradually healing. Available in libraries and online.
The Smart Divorce by Deborah Moskovitch. Useful advice from top divorce attorneys, financial advisors, counselors, and other experts. Available in libraries and online.
Growing up with Divorce: Helping Your Child Avoid Immediate and Later Emotional Problems by Neil Kalter. With sections sorted by the child’s age and the stage(s) of the divorce process the parents are in, Kalter describes external and internal sources of difficulty for kids and ways parents can help their children be resilient and healthy. Available in libraries and online.
Books for Kids:
Nina Has Two Houses by Danielle Jacobs and Hannah Neale. This is a great book for helping little kids comprehend their own emotions when their parents separate and stay apart.
Online Marriage Resources:
Healing Separation Agreement This form is designed to help a couple plan a structured period of separation designed to heal the wounds in their marriage.
Online Divorce Resources:
Divorce in Virginia This includes information useful to unwed parents and a link to the Virginia State Bar’s page about divorce in Virginia.
Fairfax County Separation and Divorce Information This is an excellent resource. It covers the legal process of separation and divorce, the emotional process of divorce, selecting and working with professionals, and taking care of yourself during separation and divorce. Most of the information applies statewide.
Do I need therapy quiz – a quick self-test.
How to Prepare for Divorce – Tips from 48 Experts
Virginia Divorce Laws – This may be difficult to decipher if you are not an attorney, but you may find what you need.
Online Co-Parenting Resources:
Co-Parenting after separation – short, useful lists of do’s and don’t’s.
OurFamilyWizard – A variety of resources for managing co-parenting and shared/joint child custody for separated, divorced, or unmarried parents. Parenting time, visitation schedules, activities, expenses, messaging, journals, travel documents, and more.
Children in Between – an online course built around videos that illustrate common co-parenting problems and some different ways parents can respond to them. Some ways lead to good results. Some lead to bad results. The course includes quizzes and opportunities to practice.
New Ways for Families and How to Handle High Conflict People have some very useful articles about skills you can practice and use with a contentious co-parent and valuable social skills and life skills you can teach your child without criticizing a difficult co-parent.
Children of Divorce Speak Out – what your kids would say to you if they could.
Divorce Support or Recovery Groups (also good for co-parents who never married):
- Brilliant Exits – Free TLC Meetups; also educational programs and other resources.
- Metro DC Divorce Support – Peer support and information from an attorney for DC, MD, and VA.
- DivorceCare – Looks like a good resource for finding a 10- or 12-session educational program about coping with the various aspects of divorce.
- Our Parenting Spot – an online discussion forum with a great community of parents and professionals.
- If you find a broken link above or want to recommend a new resource, please email Colin Family Mediation Group LLC at firstname.lastname@example.org.
- This page is always under development. We add to it as time permits.
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