In many cases, you can save thousands of dollars by having a mediator help you and your former partner resolve as much as possible in mediation.
A mediator’s area of expertise is facilitating communication – helping both parties say clearly what matters to them and why, hear what matters to the other person and why, consider a variety of ways to resolve their issues, and develop agreements about parenting plans and financial matters.
An attorney’s job is to represent one party’s interests against the other party, sometimes with little consideration of what will be best for the children. While it is a good idea for each party to get some advice from a lawyer and to have a lawyer review a proposed Agreement before signing it, it may not be necessary to pay a lawyer to do your negotiating for you. You can hire an attorney to advise you without paying thousands of dollars to have an attorney represent you.
An attorney who is representing a party is likely to issue Interrogatories, Requests for Production of Documents, and Subpoenas and to take Depositions — time-consuming and expensive ways to gather evidence. You can save a lot by simply giving each other copies of W-2 forms and other income records, bank account information, retirement account information, records of debts, etc.
If a case goes to trial, it is not unusual for each party to pay his or her attorney $30,000 to $50,000. In my experience, it is not unusual for an estranged couple to work out the terms of their separation and divorce in mediation for $800 to $2,000, plus whatever they pay their attorneys for some advice before, during, and/or near the end of mediation.
For parents, an additional advantage of mediation is that it is a cooperative process. It strengthens a foundation for constructive co-parenting in the future. Adversarial litigation does a lot of damage to relationships and makes it hard for the parents to work with each other in the future to raise their children well.
This site is for informational purposes only. Nothing here should be construed as legal advice. Virginia L Colin, Ph.D. is a Professional Family Mediator certified by the Virginia Supreme Court. She is not an attorney or a therapist.
