Often I meet parents who do not know that they can get the help they need from a family court* even if they cannot afford to hire a lawyer. Please do not misunderstand. Almost any time you need a court to make a decision about your child’s wellbeing, it is good to seek advice from an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, you may be able to get some assistance from a Legal Aid Office. You are not, however, required to have a lawyer represent you.
A parent can simply walk into a courthouse, file a petition, get a date for a court hearing, go into a courtroom, let both parents tell the judge what they think is best for their child and why, and let the judge make a ruling. Better yet, in some cities and counties, a parent can file a petition and ask the court to refer the matter to mediation. Sometimes the court will provide a family mediator or a referral to a family mediator who will take the case at no cost to the parties. That way the parents can be the people making the decisions, instead of leaving it to a judge who does not know their kids to tell them what they must do.
Why would someone want to go to court without a lawyer? Generally the people involved simply cannot afford attorneys. About half of the babies born in the U.S. are born to unwed parents. Many of those parents are young and have limited earnings. Nevertheless, they recognize that obtaining a court order may be important.
Here are a few examples of reasons why a parent might seek a court order.
• An unwed father wants the right to be fully involved in decision-making for his child, so he files a petition for joint legal custody.
• A separated parent wants to be sure that his child will live primarily with him, so he files a petition for sole physical custody.
• A separated parent wants to be sure that his or her child will not have to spend much time with the other parent, who is a bad influence.
• A single parent needs the other parent to pay child support.
• A separated spouse needs alimony.
• A custodial parent is making it hard for the other parent to get time with their child, so the second parent files a petition for visitation rights or for shared physical custody.
• An unwed parent who has been sharing physical custody of a child for a couple of years with no court order becomes concerned that the other parent will take the child out of the state or even out of the country and not return for a long time. Now the parent wants the court to make a ruling about physical custody and to limit the geographic area in which the child will live.
Family situations such as these are not necessarily complicated. Sometimes both parents agree about what to do and just do it without involving a court. Sometimes parents who do not initially agree work with a family mediator, write and sign a contractual parenting plan, and do not feel a need to have a court incorporate the plan into an Order. When one parent wants to be sure that there is a Court Order to protect the child or when a spouse wants a Court Order to ensure his or her right to alimony, then someone takes the matter to court.
As noted at the start of this article, it is usually a good idea to talk with an attorney about your rights, your responsibilities, and what outcome is likely if you go to court. When you are adequately informed, you can speak for yourself in court. Or you can work with a family mediator to develop a more detailed and individualized parenting plan than you are likely to get from a judge.
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*I am using informal language here. By “family court” I mean “Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court.” JDR Courts handle questions of custody, visitation, spousal support, and child support. They do not handle divorces.
