A month before her first book was published, Jessica Rector found out she was pregnant. Having lived the life of a broadcast journalist, coach, and adventurous traveler, Jessica initially found her new identity as a single parent isolating and overwhelming. The negative depiction of single mothers in the media and in political debates fanned the flames of vulnerability and self-recrimination.
As time passed, Jessica discovered that there are many single moms in a wide variety of situations. Most of them are not irresponsible people on welfare. You can probably find them among your sisters, your cousins, your neighbors, and your friends. According to the Census Bureau, more than 40% of all births in the U.S. are to single moms. Other moms become single as a result of separation and divorce. While the mother/child bond can be strong, the extended intensity of “just the two of us” can be hard on both mother and child. Children of single moms have more behavioral, health, cognitive, and social issues than other children and face greater risks of depression, obesity, and even suicide. Single moms and their children need help from each other and from society.
Finding few resources available that provided the support and guidance she needed, Jessica redefined her coaching practice to serve other single moms. Through her work speaking with other women who shared her situation, she learned about the toxic effects of shame and the importance of self-care and of having a community of peers for mutual support. “If you’re not taking good care of yourself,” she says, “it’s almost impossible to take good care of a child.”
As she regained her confidence, Jessica set out to counter pervasive negative beliefs and stereotypes. She started the Single Mom Movement, a web-based community with a mission to “educate, empower, and unite” mothers parenting alone. Her website thesinglemommovement.com provides resources, strategies, and best practices for coping as a single parent. It connects a virtual community of women from around the world and serves as a resource for companies that want to create a more supportive work environment for single moms – because empowered employees have better energy and are more productive.
Jessica believes that building support and resilience for single mothers benefits society as a whole. It’s not a matter of choosing between career and motherhood, she says, but of putting healthy families first.
