Separation and Divorce Services
Separation Agreements
Mediation is the best way for many couples or ex-couples to make decisions about legal custody, physical custody, spousal support, and child support. If they are planning a divorce, they can also include property distribution in a Separation Agreement.
The couple can develop and sign an agreement either before or after one of them moves out of the shared residence. Having a written agreement about how they are going to handle things protects both parties from certain legal risks and from much emotional turmoil. It also protects the children from the anxiety that comes from believing that your parents are fighting about you and not knowing what the future holds for you.
Parts of the completed, signed Separation Agreement can be incorporated into a court order if either party asks the court to do that.
Mediation services are available in Springfield, Fairfax, Alexandria, elsewhere in Virginia, and by Zoom.
DIY Divorce?
A few couples handle their divorces entirely on their own. Many couples can work out the terms of their divorce with just a little professional support.
In a confidential setting, a professional family mediator can help each party to communicate what is important to him or her and to hear what is important to the other party and why. A mediator can help you
- identify the issues that need to be resolved
- focus on one issue at a time
- discuss the possible solutions
- calm down if you get too upset to think straight
- come to agreement about parenting plans
- decide about spousal support and child support
- decide together how to divide assets and debts
- prepare a draft of your emerging agreement
- review, revise, and finalize your Agreement
Each party can confer with a lawyer anytime during the mediation process if they wish to do so. Some of our clients choose almost do-it-yourself divorces, with just a little help from their mediator. Other clients choose to confer with separate attorneys near the beginning of mediation and again when they have a draft Agreement to review.
Compared to going to court, divorce mediation helps you save thousands of dollars, save months of time, avoid large amounts of emotional distress, and stay in control of decisions about the terms of your divorce.
To schedule a free phone consultation, call 571-431-9159 or email info@cfmg-va.com.
Spousal Support in Virginia
In Virginia there are two ways of deciding about spousal support, also known as alimony. The first is used prior to the divorce. The second is used for the period after the date of divorce.
Temporary Spousal Support
For the period when a husband and wife are separated but not yet divorced, sometimes called the “pendente lite” period, most courts in Virginia now use formulas developed by Fairfax County courts to determine the amount of spousal support.
If child support is not involved, then spousal support will ordinarily be 27% of the gross income of the spouse who earns more, minus 50% of the gross income of the spouse who earns less. If child support is also involved, then spousal support will ordinarily be 26% of the gross income of the spouse who earns more, minus 58% of the gross income of the spouse who earns less.
For example, consider a case in which one spouse earns $90,000 per year and the other earns $20,000 per year. If they have no minor children, the formula recommends $14,300 per year. (27% of $90,000 = $24,300; 50% of $20,000 = $10,000; and $24,300 – $10,000 = $14,300 per year.) Spousal support is usually paid on a monthly basis. The monthly payment would be $1,192.
If the parties with those incomes do have minor children, then the formula recommends $11,800 per year. (26% of $90,000 = $23,400; 58% of $20,000 = $11,600; and $23,400 – $11,600 = $11,800 per year.) The monthly payment would be $983.
In addition to spousal support, the parent with the higher income may need to pay child support, but that is a topic for another day.
The parties can settle on a different amount of interim spousal support for a variety of reasons. They can arrange this by working with a professional family mediator and putting their Agreement into writing or by asking their attorneys to negotiate an acceptable settlement. If the matter is left to a judge to decide, the Court may also deviate from the formula if the judge is persuaded that there is a good reason to do so.
Spousal Support After Divorce
When clients or judges are deciding about spousal support after the date of divorce, the rules for determining spousal support change radically. Many factors can influence what amount of spousal support is to be paid and for how long. Often the spouse with the higher income pays spousal support for about half as many years as the marriage lasted, but no formula or rule is used consistently.
In words that I have abbreviated here (for exact wording, see Virginia Code § 20-107.1), the law says that, to determine the nature, amount, and duration of spousal support, the court shall consider the following factors:
1. The obligations, needs, and financial resources of the parties, including income from pension, profit sharing, or retirement plans;
2. The standard of living established during the marriage;
3. The duration of the marriage;
4. The age and physical and mental health of the parties and any special circumstances of the family;
5. The extent to which the age, physical or mental condition or special circumstances of any child of the parties would make it appropriate that a party not seek employment outside of the home;
6. The contributions, both monetary and non-monetary, of each party to the well-being of the family;
7. The property interests of the parties, both real and personal, tangible and intangible;
8. The provisions made with regard to the marital property under § 20-107.3;
9. The earning capacity, including the skills, education and training of the parties and the present employment opportunities for them;
10. The prospects, time, and costs involved for a party to acquire education, training, and employment to enhance his or her earning ability;
11. The decisions regarding employment, career, economics, education and parenting arrangements made by the parties during the marriage and their effect on present and future earning potential, including the length of time one or both of the parties have been absent from the job market;
12. The extent to which either party has contributed to the attainment of education, training, career position or profession of the other party; and
13. Such other factors, including the tax consequences to each party, as are necessary to consider the equities between the parties.
The factors on that list, which judges must consider when deciding about spousal support, makes sense. You may want to use the same set of factors when you are working with a mediator and/or an attorney to negotiate the terms of your divorce. They may help you decide what is needed and what is fair.
Related Decisions
Decisions about spousal support are often linked to decisions about who gets what marital property. Often both matters are included in a Marital Settlement Agreement. For example, one spouse might offer to let the other keep the family home if the other will waive any claim to spousal support. (Whether that proposal is good for either spouse varies according to other facts and circumstances.) You can work with one professional family mediator or work with two attorneys to negotiate the terms of your Marital Settlement Agreement.
A list of common monthly expenses appears here. Using it may help you with your planning about how much spousal support is needed and how much is possible.
Modifying Spousal Support
It may be possible to modify spousal support if either party’s financial situation changes significantly.
If you waive spousal support when you divorce and do not reserve the right to re-open the matter later, then it is very unlikely that you will ever be able to get any spousal support.
The End of Spousal Support
Spousal support ends automatically if either party dies. It also ends automatically when the person receiving support remarries.
This article is for informational purposes only. Nothing here should be construed as legal advice.
Child Support Agreements
One way for divorced, estranged, or unwed parents, perhaps working with a family mediator, to start figuring out how much child support makes sense is by listing each parent’s monthly income and expenses. Then the parents talk about what standard of living they want for their children. Next comes the math, to determine how much help one parent needs from the other to cover expenses for the children to have food, shelter, health care, clothing, and other ordinary things and activities. After looking at how much money is needed and how much is available, parents sometimes discover that the two of them put together do not have enough income to cover all of the expenses in both households. They sometimes need to get creative about finding ways to decrease expenses or increase income.
The Commonwealth of Virginia, like most other states, has guidelines for determining what amount of child support is probably appropriate, based on each parent’s income, the cost of health care insurance for the children, work-related child care expenses, and other relevant factors. If parents are working out their own agreement about child support, perhaps with help from one mediator and/or two lawyers, they are not required to agree to the amount the guidelines recommend.
Some parents agree to share expenses the law would not require. Examples include:
- tuition for private school
- costs associated with sports and other extracurricular activities
- saving for college expenses
A well-trained family mediator can show you what the state guidelines recommend and help you think together about how to cover expenses for your children.
Mediation services are available in Springfield, Fairfax, Alexandria, elsewhere in Virginia, and by Zoom.
Divorce (or not?) Strategy Sessions
The purpose of a strategy session is to help you develop a strategy that meets your needs and fits your situation.
Designed for individuals who are not sure what changes they want to make or not sure what they want to say to others in their families, divorce (or not) strategy sessions are confidential face-to-face meetings between someone in Colin Family Mediation Group and one client. Assistance with your strategic planning is based on what we have learned in our years of providing mediation services. Although we may offer some practical advice, we do not give legal advice. We can give you information about relevant laws, but, when participating in a strategy session, are not acting as lawyers or as mediators.
We help you consider the pros and cons of different courses of action and whether the plans you are considering are realistic. We help you think about how the changes you are considering will affect the various members of your family. We do not offer psychotherapy services and have not participated in any coaching certification program.
You may want to choose which service you want — either a strategy session or mediation. When someone from our group meets with only one person for a divorce strategy session, then it may not be possible for anyone from our group later to serve as that person’s mediator. It is very important for both parties to trust their mediator. When one of us has met one party separately and helped him or her with developing a strategy, it would be reasonable for the other party to worry that we might be biased in favor of what the first party wants. The mediator must act as an unbiased, neutral professional. We have had cases that started with helping one party do some planning and later involved mediating between the two parties, but this happens only if the second party can also trust the mediator.
To schedule a free phone consultation call 571-431-9159 or email info@cfmg-va.com.
Divorce Coaching
Sometimes one spouse is determined to separate and eventually divorce, but the other spouse is not ready to discuss parenting plans, support, and other issues. In such cases, acting as a coach, one of us can discuss facts, feelings, and plans with just one party. We cannot give legal advice, but we can help the person learn about the emotional aspects of separation and divorce and learn what laws say about what their options are. We can also help our client think about how to communicate ideas to his or her spouse in a way that is likely to be heard and considered.
Mediation services are available in Springfield, Fairfax, Alexandria, elsewhere in Virginia, and by Zoom.